Haruka16

Holy crap, a well deserved ACEN. Work/school/ psycho mother has kept me from making art. I quit my math...it was a sad, but relief filled day. I'm Falkner in the Ultimate pokedex! My friends are Lance and Erica, Blane and Rui. I'm so excited...and hungry which is why my sentences are so friggin short. BAH! I am also packing since we are leaving for it tomorrow!

Art News: Worked on Steven Universe fan character, Lapis Lazuli. I'll post them momentarily. Once I finish her action and stationary pose. 

Have a great weekend, and God bless~<3

I've not been able to do much work lately due to my life eating me, losing photoshop and not always having access to a scanner. But I do plan on posting some more work soon. I've done character headshots of my fantasy characters and they are almost colored. 

This evening, or should i say morning, I came to the realization of the familiarity in my writing. While typing up and reading chapter 11 of my OS I realized that (although to not as a severe degree) that it is reminiscent to my life the past year in a half. As horrifying as some of the occurrences were, I "defeated them"  and I'm still "Alive". Which brings me to my realization, everything that has happened was suppose to happen. Even things I wrote about before, and things I wrote about now but earlier. So if I correct, and I keep writing, I will be figuring out my own life before it happens. Or something. I know I must sound nuts, but I've had this feeling before, and when this feeling collides in my mind with previous similar feelings I reach a mental understanding of why things happened in my life.

Again, I'm really sorry this sounds crazy and dumb, but it makes so much sense, and I basically feel like I'm on the right path in my life. I may have deviated at points, but I'm always set straight. And even if some of my friends don't believe it, I still believe God takes care of me, and loves me even when I'm a royal fuck up.

Finals are over for the summer and that is one less stresser I'm thankful is gone. My hours have been cut and my escape from this nightmare with my mother has been held off. I've been searching for other jobs that pay more or a second job. I've been so stressed I've forgotten to have faith and it's all I can do to believe it will get better.
And now my one grandmother has butt her two sense in with trying to force me and my father to make a mends. Its not going to happen.  I'm so much happier without him in my life and she's trying to pull him back in.

I just pray that God will help me get out on my own.

Many good things, like getting more hours, loving my classes and still being with my boyfriend I thank God for, but my mother have been breaking my spirit slowly, I thank God that he's given me the people who care so much for me, the friends who see me as I really am and know that I try very hard. That I'm a good person, and never want to cause trouble for anyone.


"From The Inside"

I don't know who to trust no surprise
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies
(Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)

[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you

Tension is building inside steadily
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me
(Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)

[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you

I won't waste myself on you
You
You
Waste myself on you
You
You

I'll take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you

Everything from the inside and just throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won't trust myself with you
You
You